Oooh what a delight it is to share these photos with you (full gallery after my musings)! These are so so yummy to my eyes and bring up a warm swelling in my heart.

My eyes have been craving flowers lately. I literally feel it as this yearning reaching coming from my eyes and my heart.

This is a familiar feeling for me, this time of year. Winter always seems to leave me feeling thirsty for green, for color, for the kinds of beauty and aliveness I feel most inspired by.

I’m on my third week of The Artist’s Way (well, really, it’s a mix of TAW + Living the Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron’s newest book), and I’m just now picking up my weekly artist dates with intentionality.

A series of starts and stops and surrendering left me with a free Saturday afternoon, a body in need of time to process, and the information that the Lyman Estate Greenhouses have camellias that bloom this time of year.

Learning about the camellias was a sweet synchronicity - normally I visit the camellias, one of my favorite flowers, on St Simons Island, GA.

There, they bloom in February, generous red and pink and white blossoms dotting the lower layer of the live oak and spanish moss canopy that shades the cemetery where I visit my mother’s grave.

This year, with the political climate around transness so soon after T’s inauguration, an X on my license, and looking more visibly queer and gender non-conforming than ever, I didn’t feel comfortable traveling there. A first time, and a heartbreak.

I’ve missed my time on the island dearly.

I can feel the absence of that mid-winter fill up on connection with the camellias, the ocean, the live oaks. With the warm sun on my winter skin and the salt air in my nose. Ocean sunrises and sunsets, bird watching, shifting sand patterns, and crispy crinkle cut french fries from Frosty’s, all just a quick bike ride away, waiting to be delighted in and devoured.

So when I learned that the camellias were in bloom, it felt like a gift for my grief and longing. A chance to connect with my beloved camellias, all the way from up here in Boston.

I got there in the afternoon and moved slowly through the green houses, letting my eyes soak in all the beauty and color and aliveness. How good it was to have this time with nature and my camera!

After many years of disconnect from photography following a disabling burnout that I’m still recovering from, it’s been this incredible, tender gift to get to start rediscovering all that I love about it. To remember that I love spending time with myself and my camera this way! Taking my time, appreciating and reveling in the beauty of it all, going just as slow as I’d like to and taking it all in.

After the greenhouse, I made my way to Mahoney’s on a whim. Along the way I saw a farm store with a bunch of cars parked outside and followed a ping to stop there. I left with an abundance of fresh flowers, homemade pumpkin and squash ravioli, and some apple cider donuts.

Upon returning home, I’m happy to report that my apartment is starting to fill with fresh cut flowers again… tulips and daffs and hellebores splashing color across my dining room table. Pleasure and beauty and bread for the journey every time I pass them.

((((((( may these photos act as a nurturing portal as you spend time taking them in ))))))

thanks for being here!

em

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